This plotless, slice of life tale of a girl in high school and her ambitions for the future doesn’t seem to go anywhere.  Below average writing, tepid performances and Greta Gerwig’s tedious direction has made me wonder how this film shot to the top of everyone’s lists this past year.  Saoirse Ronan as the titular character seems to have recently graduated from the Ellen Page School of Acting with an offbeat performance we’ve seen so many times before in much better films, while Laurie Metcalf as the mother with whom Lady Bird clashes in every other scene tries to convey an emotion seemingly akin to evil but never quite reaches anything more than casual anger.  Conversations between characters begin randomly, as if we’ve stumbled in halfway, not at all helped by the scattershot editing and overall script, which for some reason makes numerous attempts to reference the 2002 setting of the film that all seem out of place, to say the least.  Does it matter that one of the sorority sisters from 2016’s Neighbors sequel is in it?  It does not.

Thirty minutes in and I had to walk away.  I hear the new Paddington is worth a shot.